I have been listening to a book on tape called “Don’t Bite The Hook” by Pema Chodron. Now for those of you who don’t know who Pema Chodron is I will give you a little introduction.
Pema Chodron is an American Buddhist nun who is the resident teacher at Gampo Abbey in Nova Scotia, the first Tibetan monastery for Westerners. She is an author, teacher and a fantastic speaker!
I had read her book, “When Things Fall Apart”, a couple of years ago when I was so angry about a lot of things in my life that I had no control over. Anger has always been one of my shortcomings. I was horrible as a child with a fierce temper. I was a very excellent door slammer! As I have aged I have found that anger provides little if no comfort. I have worked very hard to overcome my anger issues. The biggest healer was letting go of issues I had been dragging around like a worn out blanket. When you hold things inside they become bigger. They outgrow what they were to begin with; we feed them with secrecy and fear.
So when I found this book on CD by Pema Chodron, “Don’t Bite The Hook“, I knew I would find it interesting! I will give you the blurb from the back of the CD holder.
“Life has a way of provoking us with traffic jams and computer malfunctions, with emotionally distant partners and crying children - and before we know it, we’re upset. We feel terrible, and then we end up saying and doing things that only make matters worse. But it doesn’t have to be that way, says Pema Chodron. It is possible to relate constructively to the inevitable shocks, losses, and frustrations of life so that we can find true happiness. The key, Pema explains, is not biting the “hook’ of our habitual responses. In this recorded retreat, Pema draws on Buddhist teachings from The Way of the Bodhisattva to reveal how we can:
Stay centered in the midst of difficulty
Improve stressful relationships
Step out of the downward spiral of self-hatred
Awaken compassion for ourselves and others”
I have listened to this 3 CD set about 4 times now. I love it! There is one section that is my favorite part and I will share it with you. Pema is explaining about human nature and how we tend to get upset with people, even people that we know will trip our trigger every time. And trip other peoples trigger also. (These are the folks running around out there that are unhappy about everything, everyone and how everything goes…no one can make them happy.) What she explains is that getting angry at someone, who’s nature is to be mean and nasty, is like resenting fire for being hot. We know the people that make us angry and we let it happen over and over. Fire is hot, over and over! They are the same.
But….she also explains that there are people that are nice, we get along with them and normally love them dearly. Those people have moments where life sucks too and they take it out maybe on you because you are there at the moment. Being angry at those people is like resenting the sky for having clouds! The sky is sometimes blue, sometimes clouds are floating by and sometimes it’s just downright covered with clouds. This is like the human emotion, sometimes people are happy and sometimes they are not. This doesn’t mean that we are going to hate them. And it certainly doesn’t mean that they are always going to be angry, so why be angry at them for having a temporary emotional response…to do so would be like resenting the sky for having clouds!
Anyway, I loved that part and hopefully I explained it correctly so that you could understand.
Pick up a copy of one of her books or CD’s. She has great wisdom.
Peace,
Kathy
